1. Abella Danger Apologizes for... Existing? In today's edition of "The World Has Gone Soft," we have former adult film star Abella Danger issuing a public apology. Her crime? Being a Miami Hurricanes fan. That’s it. That’s the tweet. During the National Championship game against Indiana, the ESPN cameras panned to Danger in the stands, looking visibly stressed as her team was getting boat-raced by the Hoosiers. Social media, naturally, did its thing—a mix of "Hey, I know her

1. The Tank Bowl Was An Absolute Masterpiece of Garbage By: The Sickos Committee If you voluntarily watched the Raiders vs. Giants game yesterday, I need you to look in the mirror and ask yourself if everything is okay at home. This wasn’t football; it was a cry for help televised on national airwaves. We had the 2-13 Raiders facing the 3-13 Giants in what can only be described as the "Toilet Bowl" for the No. 1 overall pick. And boy, did the Raiders deliver a performance wor

1. The Rams Just Invented a New Way to Ruin Your Parlay The Scenario:  You had the Rams Moneyline. Maybe you even grabbed them at -3.5. You were feeling good. You were feeling safe. They were up 30-14 with eight minutes left against a Seahawks team that looked like they were actively trying to get their coach fired. The Reality Check:  The Gambling Gods are cruel, vengeful, and apparently huge fans of Geno Smith chaos. First, the Seahawks rattle off 16 unanswered points to fo

The Most Absurd Underdog Story In College Football History Just Happened And Nobody Is Talking About It Enough I need everyone to stop what they're doing and understand the absolute MADNESS of what just happened in college football. Fernando Mendoza — a kid who was committed to YALE, who was ranked the 134th best quarterback  in his high school class, who received exactly ONE Power Five offer in his entire recruitment — just won the Heisman Trophy. For INDIANA. INDIANA. The b

A $212 Million Dollar Man Just Got Sent To The Shadow Realm By A Guy Named Quinn Look, I've seen some wild NFL decisions in my life. I watched the Browns draft Johnny Manziel. I watched the Jets sign Aaron Rodgers thinking it would fix everything. I watched the Commanders go through like 47 quarterbacks in a decade. But the Miami Dolphins just benched Tua Tagovailoa — their franchise quarterback who they paid $212.4 MILLION DOLLARS last summer — for a seventh-round rookie nam

A.J. Brown is one of the five best receivers in football. This isn't up for debate. The guy is a certified monster — 6'1", 225 pounds of anger and athleticism who runs routes like he's personally offended by defensive backs. He's a first-team All-Pro. A Pro Bowler. A Super Bowl champion. He's everything you want in a number one receiver. Last night against the Chargers, he had 6 catches for 100 yards. His third straight game over the century mark. By any normal measure, that'

Look, I'm not trying to be dramatic here. I really wanted to wait until the Eagles gave me no choice but to write this. Well, congratulations Philadelphia — you've forced my hand. Jalen Hurts had five turnovers last night. Five. Four interceptions and a fumble. And two of them came on THE SAME PLAY, which according to the Elias Sports Bureau hasn't happened since 1978. That's 47 years ago. Jimmy Carter was president. Star Wars had just come out. Disco was still a thing people

I genuinely don't know how to write this one. Daniel Jones — the guy the Giants gave up on mid-season in 2024, the guy who spent a year being called a bust, the guy who signed a one-year prove-it deal with the Colts and was playing MVP-caliber football — tore his Achilles in the first quarter against the Jaguars yesterday. Non-contact. Just dropped back to pass and his leg buckled. Season over. This was supposed to be the greatest redemption story in recent NFL history. Jones

If you turned off the Bills-Bengals game at halftime, you missed the best football game of the year. And that's on you. Buffalo trailed 21-11 at the break. Joe Burrow was carving up the Bills defense like a Christmas ham. Cincinnati had the game under control. And then Josh Allen remembered he's Josh Allen and that it was snowing in Orchard Park, which is basically his version of going Super Saiyan. Fourth quarter. Bengals up 28-18 with under eight minutes left. Josh Allen ta

I want you to imagine something: You're a Ravens fan. Your team is down 27-22 with under three minutes left. Lamar Jackson launches a ball to Isaiah Likely in the end zone. Likely catches it. Both feet down. He takes a step. TOUCHDOWN. Ravens lead 28-27. The stadium erupts. You're screaming. Your neighbor's dog is barking. Life is beautiful. And then — record scratch  — the refs huddle up, watch the replay, and determine that Joey Porter Jr. knocked the ball out before  Likel

15 years. FIFTEEN. Look, I'm not here to pile on the Jets. Actually, scratch that — yes I am. Because at some point this stops being sad and starts being genuinely impressive. The New York Jets were officially eliminated from playoff contention yesterday with a 34-10 beatdown from the Dolphins, extending their postseason drought to a full decade and a half. Let me put this in perspective for you: The Jets' playoff drought is now the longest active drought in ALL of North Amer

1. The "Prison Game": Pete Carroll Just Committed a Felony on Live TV If you held a ticket on the Broncos (-8) yesterday, you are legally allowed to sue for emotional damages. You are also allowed to demand Pete Carroll be tried at The Hague. In what is unequivocally the Bad Beat of the Century , the Raiders—trailing 24-14 with 4 seconds left—decided that trying to win the football game was so  2024. Instead, Pete Carroll, a man who presumably hates your bank account, trotted

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